TALLON TALES

Through numerous gigs, the band have encountered some memorable moments - some of which we would rather not have remembered! We always said that we would share some of these, so here you go ………….

Which Wedding Reception Are We Playing??!!

Tallon were due to play a Wedding Reception in a marquee in the grounds of Nettlestead Place, near Maidstone. Unfortunately, the van and car got separated on the journey there. Not too much of a problem we thought until we ALL arrived at Nettlestead Place to find Paul, Jason and Dave laughing their heads off. When asked what was wrong, it turns out that they stopped a short distance down the road, got out of the van and proceeded to begin to work out where they were going to set up. It was only when one of them noticed that there was a sign saying "Village Hall" that they were at the wrong venue!

The Legend of the Cowbell

For those of you that have browsed our site and come across hundreds of references to “The Cowbell” and don’t quite understand, here is a little bit of light shed for you.

The place was the Fountain gig, the time was 8 past Friday (as a drunken lad told us that, it was the best he could do when he looked at his watch to tell us the time), the mood was merry, and the cheers were flowing. We got to about mid-way through our 1st half set, we had played Stuck In The Middle which contains a cowbell part in the breakdowns which, for whatever reason, always received a ripple of approval. After the song was done Paul had a problem with his effects and asked J to stall for a little bit of time so he could fix them. SO, J turned to Mike and said “I’ve noticed that whenever you hit that cowbell it gets applause, try it again and see what happens”. On that queue Mike tapped the bell, with that the crowd erupted with more enthusiasm than ever before. J, Mike and the crowd played off this for a couple more minutes while Paul got sorted, and things went a bit mad! In perfect unison throughout the night the crowd chanted, cried out for and craved the bloody bell more than us!! Towards the end of the night J said to Mike “does it work with your splash symbol too?” Mike tried it and silence followed, then tried the cowbell and a roar echoed through the pub for a couple of minutes. (Click here to see the original "Cowbell Crowd"). None of this was pre-arranged or thought out, it just happened somehow which just made it so funny at the time (you had to be there) and wherever we go now we are followed by the chants of “COWBELL“! Think it won’t be long before artistic differences and professional jealousy kicks in and the bell leaves to become the Robbie Williams of Tallon!

Forgetful Tallon

It has come to our attention that, if they’re not screwed on, Tallon may lose their heads. The forgetful bug in the Band seems to be spreading to possible epidemic status!

Upon setting all the gear up at a gig approximately an hour away from home, Vicky realised that she had forgotten her keyboard memory disc. Obviously, being unable to perform without it, this meant that Vicky had to return home to get the disc, resulting in the guests of the evening enjoying the disco at the beginning of the evening, rather than at the end!

We set off for the Sheppey Show (which took quite a lot of organisation on Tallon’s part as they had to hire bass bin speakers for the outdoor event). Mike collected the speakers on the morning of the event and we merrily loaded the van and car and set off for Sheppey. Upon setting up at this gig, it was not until we came to attach our usual speakers to the hired bass bins that we realised that we did not have the connection leads. This resulted in a good friend of the Band leaving his mate’s Wedding Reception approximately 40 miles away and racing over to us with the necessary leads. I’m sure he must have broken the land speed record in his bid to get to us on time!

Now, the above instances are understandable but the following is somewhat baffling. We recently performed at Vicky’s sister's 30^th Birthday Party. Background music was playing as guests were arriving and the whole Band thought that they were ready to begin. For some reason it came to Paul’s sudden notice that he had forgotten, of all things, his GUITAR! Not quite sure how that happened but we hope it is never to be repeated. Luckily we were quite close to home so we could race back and get it before anyone else noticed!

Tallon Tailors!

Tallon has gone to extreme lengths to dress appropriately for the occasions we play! Or not as the case may be! On a cold October evening we were booked to perform at a special fan’s 21^st Birthday Party. Even though Tallon are usually a well organised outfit (a lot of the time thanks to Mel), this time they slipped up. What we failed to address until the very last minute, is that this party had a Hawaiian theme. This led to Mel and J covering every shopping venue in the South East looking for 3 Hawaiian shirts for the lads of the band, as well as keeping an eye out for something appropriate for Vicky. Over the course of 2 days, we shopped til we dropped! Eventually J bought a top on Vicky’s behalf that would have had any parent saying “you’re not wearing that” and they found 3 suitable shirts. Meanwhile Vicky had managed to get hold of 4 grass skirts. You can’t say we didn’t make the effort!

On another occasion the Band got a last minute booking to perform at a Golf Club, and that was all the information given. We set up, sound-checked, got changed into smart/casual gig clothes and were all set to begin. Eventually we met the hostess who, to our horror and amazement, was dressed in ball gown and finery. As we were chatting to her other guests started to arrive and every single person was wearing either a tuxedo or ball gown. Suddenly we felt very self-conscious and underdressed!

The Fast & The Furious

One of our popular covers is the Stereophonics hit, Have A Nice Day. We’ve practically claimed this song as our own as we learned it about 2 days after it was first aired on MTV and about 5 weeks before it was actually released. Because of this, no one had heard the Phonics version and assumed it was a Tallon song. A few weeks later the song had hours of air-play and our regulars couldn’t help but think it was us on the radio!

During the lead up to a gig we timed our set to see if we were on target for our time slot. So, armed with a stopwatch we set off on our merry little way and kicked off with Have A Nice Day. Unfortunately, due to our clock watching and lots of over-enthusiasm, we managed to condense the song to a little over 2 minutes - a record even by our standards!

Keep It Down!

Whilst setting up at a venue for a private function, we suddenly noticed a sound limiter located on the far wall of the hall. For those of you not familiar with these delightful inventions, they basically consist of a box with lights on the front and a built-in microphone. The louder the noise in the hall, the more lights illuminate. When all the lights come on, you get three chances to turn the sound down or the box will trip-out all the plug sockets (and thus the power). During the sound-check for this gig, Mike only had to hit the snare drum to turn the box into Blackpool Illuminations. Thankfully, after 30 minutes of trying to work out what the hell we were going to do, a member of staff came over and said that the box was not working and to ignore it. Just as well, otherwise it would have been our quietest gig ever. Tallon may have become the Flying Pickets for the night! By the way, this was the same gig as the “Toilet Trouble” incident (see below).

Mic’d Up and Cocked Up

For some reason, microphones seem to be a source of amusement or despair for Tallon. The following incidents are but a few of these situations…..

For ease of playing, Mike will more often than not use the head-mic for vocals during gigs. Although this has it’s advantages, it also has it’s disadvantages. Apart from the wire down Mike’s back leading to the transmitter getting caught up in spare drum sticks, there is no getting away from the mic to burp loudly or cough. And, as has happened once before, if things don’t go quite to plan, the whole crowd have enjoyed spur-of-the-moment expletives from Mike!

During a recent rehearsal in which J was covering lead vocals, he went to sing only to find he’s switched his mic off. Paul, as understanding as ever, shouted the word “w***er” over the mic - or would have done had he also not forgotten to turn his mic back on!

Mike has not been the only member of Tallon to broadcast unwanted phrases over the mic during gigs. J once inadvertently asked the entire crowd if they would like a chewing gum. Thankfully there were no takers or the whole episode could have proved rather expensive!

Paul’s head seems strangely attracted to the microphone. So far, there has not been a single gig or practice session where Paul hasn’t head-butted the mic at some point. We are thinking of buying him a crash helmet for Christmas!

At one venue, J got more energy from his mic than from the crowd. He found that if he got within 3 inches of his mic, his face received an electric/static shock!

Toilet Trouble

As not all of our venues (in fact very few) boast dressing rooms, our changing areas more often than not consist of a cubicle in the toilets! So, not unusually, we were using such cubicles at a venue to remain nameless and believed that, with the obvious exception of Vicky, the three of us lads had consecutive traps. Paul shouted out to J to borrow some aftershave and, after no response, decided to grab J’s foot in the next cubicle. After grabbing the phantom foot and trying to pull it as hard as possible through to his cubicle and nearly pulling the shoe off, a deep voice said “No”. Mike was first out of the cubicles, followed by the phantom foot owner, who turned out to be a guest at the function we were playing at, and NOT J (who we later found out was not even in the toilets at the time)! The guest gave Mike a strange look before walking out, and several minutes later Paul appeared looking rather sheepish. Realising what Paul had done, “No, that wasn’t J” was all Mike had to say. Paul spent the entire gig looking into the crowd for the victim but the owner of the phantom foot and deep voice was never discovered (just as well really)!